


E senza dire parole nel mio cuore ti porterò

by Imagined



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Italian!tony, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Civil War (Marvel), References to Infinity War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagined/pseuds/Imagined
Summary: ‘’My mom was Italian,’’ he says weakly. ‘’I learnt it before I learnt English. I speak other languages, too, but – well, I like Italian.’’‘’Me too,’’ Stephen says with a smile, and he stands up, giving Tony a hand as well. ‘’I enjoy the way it rolls of the tongue. Say, should we postpone our meeting and perhaps get some pizza, first?’’Tony knows Stephen is only proposing it because he wants to keep Tony’s mind off the horrors they endured for a while longer. Still, he accepts with a hesitant smile.orFive times Tony and Stephen speak in Italian to each other, and one time they need no words.





	E senza dire parole nel mio cuore ti porterò

**Author's Note:**

> _E senza dire parole nel mio cuore ti porter_ is part of a lyrics from _la donna cannone_ by francesco di gregori. roughly, it means ''and with no words I’ll keep you in my heart''.

People tend to forget Tony Stark had a mother, as well. Everyone is always going on about how much he’s like his father, how Howard Stark would feel about his son, asking about him in interviews. No one asks Tony how he felt about his mother, in what ways he looks like Maria.

Truth is, Tony is a lot more like Maria than like Howard, and that’s the way he likes it.

Howard had barely been home, when Tony was a child, and while he’d had his fair share of nannies, it’s still definitely Maria that had raised him. She was a full-blooded Italian woman, and while one wouldn’t have noticed it from her flawless English, she loved her mother country more than anything.

Well, anything, apart from her son, whom she taught Italian, which became Tony’s first language. Howard hadn’t been pleased when he figured that out, but the damage had already been done, and Maria had been headstrong enough to keep talking Italian to Tony. Of course, he got English tutors as well, but still – the first memories Tony has are of his mother, singing Italian lullabies to him.

It’s no wonder that hearing Italian makes him feel like he’s home, then.

~*~

_1._

Stephen’s presence at the time is more of a coincidence than something Tony had scheduled for. He and the Sorcerer Supreme have an agreement to keep each other up to date about any possibly world-threatening events – the meetings are usually short and to-the-point, because neither of them like wasting time, but working together is easier than trying to keep the world safe all by themselves.

Tony, when the panic attack comes, has forgotten all about his meeting with Stephen. He may be forgiven for that, considering he’s busy having a _panic attack_. He tries to avoid triggers, but the seemingly harmless television program he was watching suddenly launched an episode set in space. And that by itself maybe wouldn’t have been a problem, if the main character’s name hadn’t been Peter, and Tony remembers the events on Titan.

So, Tony isn’t doing so very well, in the overall. He’s all by himself in the Avengers Compound, shaking and sweating and having trouble breathing, when there’s suddenly a voice near him, speaking softly, yet urgently. Tony doesn’t understand what the voice is saying, though, what it wants from him – if it’ll take away Peter again, he can’t fail the kid again, oh god no, and he starts pleading.

‘’ _Non puoi farlo, mi dispiace_ ,’’ he’s sobbing, ‘’ _Smettila, smetilla!_ ’’  
[You can’t do this, I’m so sorry. Just finish it, finish it]!’’

‘’Tony,’’ the voice says, soft and warm and full of worry. ‘’ _Va tutto bene. Sei al sicuro, sono tutti al sicuro. Abbiamo vinto. Sei al sicuro, sei a casa. Sei a sicuri, Tony. Sono qui_.’’ [Everything is all right. You’re safe, everyone is safe. We won. You’re safe, you’re home. You’re safe, Tony. I’m here]

The voice continues talking to him, drawing Tony’s attention to it, to the soft baritone whispers. Eventually, a hand starts rubbing his arm, and Tony takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself as reality slowly returns to him. He’s still shaking, and his head hurts, and his face feels puffy, but at least the attack is receding, and he finds himself sitting on the ground before the couch. It’s Stephen, who’s sitting in front of him, the man’s eyes focused on Tony’s face, trying to find something.

‘’Tony? _Sei tornato tra noi?_ ’’ Stephen asks, and it takes Tony a few seconds to realize that the man is speaking Italian. [You’re back with us?]

‘’I’m fine,’’ Tony says, but his voice is rough, and it seems he still can’t stop trembling. ‘’It’s – don’t worry. I’m fine, this is just – it’s nothing, um, why are you – shit. The meeting, I’m sorry you had to see this, I’m –‘’

‘’Let me stop you right there,’’ Stephen says, and Tony takes another deep breath. ‘’Don’t apologize for this, Tony. Your feelings and reactions are natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. God knows I’ve had my own share of nightmares, after everything we’ve been through. Tony, we have seen things that no one could ever possibly imagine. This is the aftermath, and that means we’re still dealing with it. Maybe we’ll never stop dealing with it, but the point is, that’s not anything you should be ashamed of.’’

‘’Can we just –‘’ Tony takes a deep breath to compose himself, and then looks Stephen in the eye. ‘’Can we drop it? I’m okay. Thanks for the help. All I want to know is, how do you know Italian?’’

‘’I had an Italian doctor as a friend, for years,’’ Stephen answers easily. ‘’He was very intelligent, but his English was hardly understandable, so I learnt Italian instead. It seems arrogant to assume that just because we’re American, everyone needs to speak English to us, and it’s never us that has to bother learning another language. How did you learn it?’’

‘’My mom was Italian,’’ he says weakly. ‘’I learnt it before I learnt English. I speak other languages, too, but – well, I like Italian.’’

‘’Me too,’’ Stephen says with a smile, and he stands up, giving Tony a hand as well. ‘’I enjoy the way it rolls of the tongue. Say, should we postpone our meeting and perhaps get some pizza, first?’’

Tony knows Stephen is only proposing it because he wants to keep Tony’s mind off the horrors they endured for a while longer. Still, he accepts with a hesitant smile.

~*~

_2._

The second time that it happens, it’s been a month since Tony’s anxiety attack, and he hasn’t seen Stephen around an awful lot. The thing is, they’re on a mission, and their only lead at the moment is an Italian man whose English sounds more like a dog trying to meow. 

They’re with a small group, only six of them. It’s Tony, obviously, and Steve is there, with Sam Wilson, Wong, Hope van Dyne and Stephen.

‘’Just. Tell us what you did,’’ Steve tries again, but the man only responds in confused English with some Italian words thrown in. He’s some scientist who apparently had something go wrong, which led to several murderous plants walking around somewhere. They have no way of finding those, though, until the man tells them exactly what he did.

‘’This isn’t working,’’ Tony mutters, and steps forward. ‘’Strange, be my bad cop. He’ll talk to us.’’

‘’I’m surprised you don’t want to be the bad cop,’’ Stephen says brightly, but he pushes past Steve, so that he’s standing next to Tony.

‘’ _Hey, non vogliamo causarti nessun problema_ ,’’ Tony starts, the Italian flowing easily. The scientist looks at him in wonder. ‘’ _Abbiamo solo bisogno di sapere cos’è successo. E basta, lo prometto._ ’’ [Hey, we don’t want to cause you any trouble. We just need to know what happened. That’s it, I promise]

‘’ _Non ve lo posso dire,_ ’’ the man whispers. ‘’ _Lo voglio, ma mi uccideranno_.’’ [I can’t tell you. I want to, but they’ll kill me]

‘’ _Possiamo proteggerti noi, ma non lo faremo se non sei disposto ad aiutarci_ ,’’ Stephen says sharply. He speaks Italian with only the slightest hint of an accent, and Tony can’t deny it – he thinks it’s attractive. Stephen isn’t looking at him, but at the scientist, and there’s an intensity in his eyes and a fieriness in his language that pulls Tony in. ‘’ _Siamo quelli buoni. Siamo quelli che possono risolvere i tuoi problemi. Se non ce lo permetti, tutto ciò che succederà sarà colpa tua, e non sarà una cosa carina._ ’’ [We can protect you, but we won’t, if you aren’t going to help us. We are the good guys. We are the ones that can solve your problem. If you don’t let us, everything that is going to happen will be on you, and that is not going to be pretty.]

He’s a good bad cop, as well. Tony has a hard time taking his eyes off Stephen, and he’s not really sure why. He manages to turn back towards the Italian man’s scared wide eyes. ‘’ _Non ti succederà niente se ci dici dove sono, ora,_ ’’ Tony reassures the man. ‘’ _Non devi dirci nient’altro per ora. Dicci solamente dove sono andati._ ’’ [Nothing will happen to you if you just tell us where they are, now. You don’t have to say anything else yet. Just tell us where they went]

The man tells them, his voice trembling, and Tony turns to face Stephen. ‘’ _Quindi tu vai ad ovest con Steve e Sam, io vado a est per trovare gli altri, Wong e Hope verranno con me,_ ’’ he says. [So you take the west side with Steve and Sam, so Wong and Hope will go east to find the others with me.]

‘’ _Dobbiamo circondarli_ ,’’ Stephen agrees, and turns back to the man. ‘’ _Non pensare nemmeno di poter scappare, ti troveremo e renderemo la tua vita molto più difficile._ ’’ The scientist nods, and that’s when Tony realizes they’ve got an entire team staring at them blankly. [We’ll have to surround them. Don’t even think about running, because we will find you and make your life infinitely harder.]

Going by Stephen’s expression, he hadn’t realized they were still speaking Italian, either. ‘’You could’ve started with that,’’ Sam says.

‘’We didn’t really get a chance before Steve started interrogating him in his best tourist-English,’’ Tony retorts. ‘’We got a location, by the way. Here’s what we’re going to do…’’

~*~

_3._

Tony takes another sip of his coffee as he goes over the latest business arrangements. He didn’t get to it during the day, but Pepper will probably murder him if he hasn’t read them by tomorrow, so he’s trying to get it done now. It’s not like he’s tired, anyway; his sleeping schedule is pretty messed up, but he hasn’t anything planned for the weekend, so he’ll catch up on some sleep by then.

It’s a surprise, though, to see someone else stumbling in the room. It’s hardly a time for people to be up, and Tony raises his eyebrows as he sees Stephen walk in, the doctor rubbing his eyes. It takes a second for the man to notice Tony, and he visibly startles. It’s not anything that Tony is used to, from him, and the worry starts to gnaw.

‘’You alright, Strange?’’ he asks casually.

‘’I’m fine,’’ the doctor says, and then stands still for a second. ‘’Well – on my way to be, anyway. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee, and I’ll be back to bed. I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.’’

‘’Oh, hey, don’t worry about that,’’ Tony answers. ‘’Look, you’re free to crash here anytime. It’s – you’re not a bother, at all, you know that, right? Are you sure you’re fine? You look tired.’’

Stephen has his own place, and rarely sleeps in the Compound, but there had been a meeting that had taken longer than expected, and Tony had offered him a bedroom, like he usually does. It’s not like Stephen can’t teleport back, but he takes the offer now and then, so Tony will continue to offer it to the man – it’s the least he can do, after all.

Stephen smiles, but it’s a weak thing. ‘’I prefer sleeping here, when I have nightmares,’’ he eventually says. ‘’Everywhere else reminds me of the past. Of what I have seen, of what I’ve done, to get to this point. But even an unfamiliar bed can’t seem to give me a good night’s sleep now, it seems.’’

He sits down on the couch, and Tony leaves his own chair to sit beside him. Stephen looks even worse up close, his hair messier than he’s seen it before and with dark rings under his eyes. ‘’ _Cosa riguardano i tuoi sogni?_ ’’ he asks. The Italian slips out before he can stop it, but he doesn’t mind it. He feels that maybe it’s become a bit of their thing, something the rest of the team won’t understand. Tony himself always feel safer, when he’s talking in Italian – maybe Stephen feels the same. [What’s it that you dream about?]

Stephen gives him a look, but doesn’t hesitate to answer in the same language. ‘’ _Venire meno al destino del mondo sulle mie spalle_ ,’’ he says. ‘’ _Veder morire tutti coloro a cui tengo, senza nemmeno - Non dico alle persone che tengo a loro. Spero che lo sappiano, ma nel sogno non è così. E poi muoiono, mentre il mondo cade a pezzi intorno a loro, e l’unica cosa a cui riesco a pensare è che non lo sanno._ ’’ [The fate of the world on my shoulders, and failing it. Everyone I’ve ever cared about dying, without even – I don’t tell people I care. I hope they know, but I dream that they don’t. And then they die, as the world falls apart around them, and the only thing I care about is that they don’t know.]

‘’ _Per anni ho sognato l’arrivo degli alieni, il mondo distrutto e la squadra separarsi,_ ’’ Tony says softly. ‘’ _Stavo impazzendo. Avevo ragione, ovviamente, ma gli incubi non aiutavano. Ho visto i membri della mia squadra morti, e pensavo fosse per colpa mia. Ma tu non sei da solo, Stephen._ ’’ [For years, I dreamt about the aliens coming, tearing down this world, and the team falling apart. I was driving myself crazy. I was right, of course, but the dreams weren’t helping me. I saw my team dead, and thought it was because of me. But you’re not alone, Stephen]

‘’ _Lo so,_ ’’ Stephen says. Silence reigns for a few minutes, until the Sorcerer Supreme speaks up again. ‘’ _Ti va se accendo la televisione? Mi calma._ ’’ [I know I’m not.] [Would you mind turning on the television? It soothes me]

‘’ _Certo_ ,’’ Tony says easily, and with a flick of his hand, the television turns on. FRIDAY is definitely learning, though – she puts on an Italian soap, loud and bright and everything that Stephen seems to need. They watch the show, for a while. [Sure.]

Tony’s actually getting into it and rooting for the elderly grandmother who’s about to throw some shoes at her granddaughter’s cheating boyfriend when a weight slumps against his shoulder. Stephen has fallen asleep against him, his mouth slightly open as he softly snores. 

He considers the sleeping man against him. Stephen’s dark hair, threads of grey through it, is soft and fluffy, very different from its usual stylish look. His breathing is even. He definitely needs his sleep; Tony’s heart clenches, seeing the shadows under the man’s eyes.

Tony has been thinking a lot about Stephen, lately. He hadn’t been able to stop staring at him after the mission where they’d had to talk Italian, and he’s realized since then that he may have a slight crush on the guy. He wasn’t really planning to do anything about it, but well –

Still, the desire to kiss him is a bit surprising. Tony doesn’t question his longing to kiss hot guys who speak flawless Italian and play bad cop with him, but seeing Stephen like this… well, Tony definitely has a weak for him.

He won’t have to admit it to anyone if he spends the rest of the night taking in Stephen’s features, and watching a bad Italian soap.

Except for Pepper, who yells at him the next morning for not finishing his paperwork.

~*~

_4._

There’s a – well, not exactly a team meeting, as they aren’t really a team, but a group meeting, at the Avengers Compound. Tony wouldn’t mind but for the fact that he has a headache that’s killing him, and everyone’s arguing doesn’t help that. Steve and Sam are trying to convince Rhodey that going in directly would be best, while Natasha is trying to make a point for subterfuge, while Rhodey is saying that they shouldn’t go in at all. Wanda is watching all of it, clearly on Steve’s side but staying out of the fight, as Hope crosses her arms, giving her up her attempts to stand by Rhodey, as it becomes clear no one else is listening.

Stephen and Wong are one of the few still sitting, quietly discussing among themselves. Tony wishes he was seated next to Stephen, but alas, he’s in between Natasha and Rhodey, who’ve started arguing too. Tony raises his hands to his hair, trying to massage the pain out of his skull. It’s not working – closing his eyes only makes the noise stand out even more.

‘’Tony? _Tutto okay?_ ’’ Stephen asks. His voice isn’t louder than anyone else’s – quite the opposite, in fact – but the Italian cuts through everyone’s English like a knife. Still, the melodic language is far easier to bear listening to. [Are you okay?]

‘’ _Sto bene_ ,’’ Tony bites out. It comes out worse than he means it to; he’s not angry with Stephen, but with everyone else’s inability to work together even a single time. They’ve all long made up, and he’d never expected to get back together a team without encountering any difficulties, but can’t they compromise just the once? He sighs. ‘’ _Scusa, non è- Odio questo tipo di incontri._ ’’ [Fine. Sorry, that’s not – I hate meetings like this.]

‘’ _Tutti gli incontri sono così,_ ’’ Stephen dryly points out. [All meetings are like this.]

Tony huffs. ‘’ _Appunto. Come possiamo fingere di essere una squadra, o alleati, se siamo così divisi?_ ’’ [That’s the point. How can we pretend to be any sort of team, or even allies, if we’re so divided all the time?]

Stephen’s eyes are focused on his. ‘’ _So che non è una situazione ideale. Preferirei anche io vedere tutti collaborare. Questi sono litigi da bambini, sono d’accordo, ma il mondo ha bisogno dei suoi difensori. Siamo una squadra, e alleati, perché sappiamo quando è necessario giungere a compromessi. Non siamo perfetti, ma abbastanza._ ’’ [I know this isn’t ideal. I would prefer everyone to work together, too. This bickering is childish, I agree, but the world needs its protectors. We’re a team and we’re allies because we know when compromise is truly necessary. It’s not perfect, but it’s enough.]

‘’ _Lo pensi veramente?_ ’’ [You think so?]

‘’ _Sì, lo penso veramente, ma ora_ …’’ Stephen stands up, scraping his throat. He’s enough of a presence to make everyone else look at him. Wong just rolls his eyes. ‘’If everyone could stop arguing for long enough to listen a moment? Yes, wonderful. Now, I’ve been hearing all of you out, multiple times, even, because you’ve all been saying the same thing over and over again. I’ll be delighted to make a decision once you have all talked like adults and maybe have tried listening to each other, but for now, I have a date planned that I’d like to go on.’’ [Yes. I really do believe that. But for now…]

Tony’s mind freezes for a moment. Stephen has a date? ‘’A date?’’ Natasha repeats sceptically. 

‘’Yes, miss Romanoff, a date, with someone I’d rather not keep waiting,’’ Stephen says, and without further ado, he walks to the door. It opens, and Tony expects to be forced to stare longingly while the Sorcerer Supreme disappears to go on a date with someone that got their act together faster than Tony.

That, surprisingly enough, doesn’t happen. Stephen turns around at the last moment, raising his eyebrow at him. ‘’Tony? Are you still coming?’’

Tony blinks, but gets up soon enough so that no one will notice his puzzlement. ‘’Uh, yeah,’’ he says, and doesn’t look back as he leaves the room with Stephen. The other man takes his arm, and doesn’t give any further explanation.

Tony doesn’t dare to ask for one.

~*~

_5._

Tony doesn’t say anything, as he stares at Stephen. He is being obvious about it, but he can’t get himself to care about any of that.

Stephen had just saved him from a meeting with the wreck that the Avengers are now, by forcing him on a date.

Stephen isn’t looking at Tony; rather, he’s been glancing at the menu of the small Italian restaurant they’ve gone to for the past ten minutes. Tony doubts Stephen is really as picky about his food as he makes it seem, and has elected to stare at the doctor instead.

‘’So?’’ he says eventually. ‘’What would you recommend?’’

Stephen looks up, meeting Tony’s eyes for the first time in quite some time. He looks somewhat confused. ‘’What are you talking about?’’

‘’The food,’’ Tony says, waving his hand vaguely at the menu. They’d only gotten one. ‘’You’ve been hogging the menu for an unbelievingly long time. I’ve send away the waiter twice already. Either they have an incredible number of options, which I’m sceptical about, or you’re thinking about something else. In any case, you should be able to recommend me something from the menu. I’m starving.’’

‘’It doesn’t bother you?’’ Stephen asks. There’s something in his eyes that Tony hasn’t seen previously. ‘’Being here, with me.’’

‘’Contrary to what you may be thinking, no, I’m not bothered in the least,’’ Tony says easily. ‘’Why would I be?’’

‘’I forced you into coming on a date with me,’’ Stephen says dryly. ‘’I haven’t done anything like this in a while, but still, I’m aware that usually asking is involved.’’

Tony nods. ‘’Okay. Then ask me.’’

‘’Now?’’ Stephen asks. His lips tilt, moving into a mischievous smile. His eyebrows raise as Tony shrugs in answer. ‘’Alright. Tony, will you go on a date with me?’’

Tony grins. ‘’Perfect. Yes, I will. When did you have in mind?’’

Stephen laughs at him, and the world is amazing for a moment, and Tony wants to reach over and rest his hand in the Sorcerer’s hair and pull it for a bit and kiss him. He doesn’t, though – it’s the first minute of their first date, and even if Tony’s reputation as a playboy precedes him, he feels like maybe they should take it a bit slower than that.

That’s not to say that it’s hard to stop his hands from wandering, and he settles on resting his right hand over Stephen’s one. Stephen’s grin morphs into something softer, and without words, he takes the hint, subtly pinching Tony’s hand a bit.

‘’ _Mi piaci, molto_ ,’’ Stephen says, like it’s a secret he can’t bear to say in English. [I like you a lot.]

Tony tilts his head a bit. He doesn’t know what kind of expression is on his face; he thinks Pepper would accuse him of being overly soft, if she could see him now. She’s always mentioned he has spectacularly big puppy eyes, when they were dating. ‘’ _Mi piaci anche tu_ ,’’ he says back, not letting go of Stephen’s hand. [I think I like you, too.]

They don’t let go for a long time, not until their food arrives and they speak Italian in excited whispers.

~*~

_+1._

It’s four in the morning. Tony is sluggishly eating a banana, because it was the first thing he saw that was actually edible. He doesn’t particularly like bananas, but he isn’t even tasting it as he tries not to fall asleep.

‘’FRIDAY,’’ he says tiredly, and without a comment the television turns on. The Italian soap that he’d watched with Stephen is on, but it seems like he’s missed a few episodes. Still, it keeps him awake as Tony takes another bite, and then throws the remains in the garbage.

It takes only ten minutes for Tony to realize he can’t stay awake. Nightmares woke him; that’s something he is used to, but this one was far worse than he usually gets. He is still trying not to tremble.

Tony doesn’t want to be alone. Maybe, hopefully, he doesn’t have to be.

With a sigh, he shuts off the television, and goes up the stairs. The long hallway holds the doors to all of the bedrooms; he walks past the first door on the left, his own. Instead, he stops before the fourth door on the right. Stephen’s bedroom, for whenever he decides to stay in the Compound.

He’s stayed in the Compound more and more, and Tony doesn’t doubt he’s sleeping there, right now. He’s silent, for a few moments, trying to find out if he can hear Stephen breathing, but he can’t hear anything but the silence that night-time usually brings.

Just as his hand hovers over the door, contemplating if he’s going to knock, the door opens. Stephen smiles softly at him, and just takes his hand, not even saying a word. Tony crashes into him, taking in the scent of soap and old paper and Stephen, as the Sorcerer Supreme wraps his arms around him. They stand like that for a few minutes before Tony almost falls asleep standing on his feet.

Tony opens his mouth, feeling the Italian words form on his tongue, and then die. Stephen raises his eyebrows at him playfully, but he doesn’t hesitate in pulling Tony into his bed.

‘’Shh,’’ he mutters, as Tony opens his mouth again. Tony closes it, and rolls closer to him instead. They don’t have to talk; neither Italian nor English is needed right now.

Stephen knows what he wants to say, and Tony knows what he would answer. There’s no need for words, not as Tony lies curled up in Stephen’s arms, and sleeps without nightmares.

To say the words would only be giving a name to the feeling they both know they have already, and for now, it’s unnecessary.

Tomorrow, they will speak both English and Italian, and they’ll say the words to name the thing they already know there is, between them.

But for now, they sleep in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to my dear friends [mara](http://www.starkparker.tumblr.com) for translation and coming up with the title, and to [letizia](http://http://roberldowneyjr.tumblr.com/) also for translation! this fic wouldn't exist without you - or at least, the Italian parts of it wouldn't. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [tonystarrks](http://www.tonystarrks.tumblr.com). Comments and kudos are highly appreciated, as always!


End file.
